Strengthen your connection

Strengthen your connection - Partners to ParentsLooking after one another enables you to care for your baby. Do what you can to strengthen your connection. Let your partner know that you love them. Do things to show your love and appreciation, such as buying flowers, making a cup of tea, or giving a massage.

Following childbirth it will be important to set aside quality time with your partner, whereas before you may have taken such occasions for granted. Arrange to do enjoyable activities and try to get outdoors together with your partner  and your baby as much as possible.

Set aside quiet-time to spend together while your baby is sleeping, even if it is only for 10 minutes.


What is your favourite thing to do with your partner now that you are parents?

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BRAINSTORM: What can you do to strengthen your connection?

  • Think about the things you and your partner used to like doing before you had your baby and consider how you might do those activities together again.
  • If your partner is resistant to going out, think of things that you can do together in the home that give you a break from parenting, such as board games or watching a movie.
  • What are some potential barriers to spending time together?
  • How can we overcome these barriers? Use these problem solving tips to help you.

Parenting and self esteem

After your baby is born, your partner’s self-esteem may be more fragile. Parents who were not parented warmly when they were young may need encouragement to spend time with their baby. Let your partner know that you’re there for them and try to be patient and understanding. Praise your partner‘s parenting efforts by giving specific examples.

“I love how you smile at our baby”

Validate your partner’s thoughts, experiences, and worries.

“I can see how hard this is for you”

“This would be a hard time for anyone”

“You have been dealing with so much lately”

Let your partner know they are not failing your baby, or you, if they feel stressed. Also let them know if you feel you need more acknowledgment, appreciation and encouragement from them.

REFLECT: Your partner’s strengths

What do you admire about your partner?

What are they  doing well?

What does your partner do that you are grateful for?

What is your fondest memory of your partner

What is your favourite thing about your partner?

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Last reviewed 24 April 2016